U&I
by wornandtattered
Summary: It's been four years since she's last seen him. And now, it's time for Clary Fray to go back to Idris. To Jace Herondale. Story's based from Lady Gaga's U&I.


The plane was full, which should not be so surprising since she came from New York. What's surprising is where it will land; in Idris, a small town just at the side of Texas where she grew up. She felt overwhelmed again. Excitement, happiness, angst, hope and utter nervousness flooded in her small package. She felt like she was a zombie for the past two years; with no live feelings in her veins, not even real fear.

After college, Clary Fray divulged herself into her career, never anything else. This is what she wanted; she told herself bitterly on the days that she couldn't take it anymore. This is what she told him she wanted.

Another wave of warmth rounded on her stomach as she remembered him. In those four hardworking years, the only real thing she felt was remembering him. And she hadn't talked to him since. He was the only thing that gives her everything it takes to succeed, even if she wasn't sure she's still in his heart.

"Jace." She whispered as she looked at the clouds from her window. She hadn't spoken his name in a long time let alone think about him too much, fearing she'd leave everything behind and run back to him. They had started their story back when they were little. They weren't the best of friends, but they protect each other. She sighed wistfully as she remembered the first time he asked her out.

_She huffed angrily as she sprinted at the side of the street. Pushing back her bangs in annoyance, she could hear his voice shouting her name from afar and it's getting nearer and nearer. She sprinted faster, almost breaking into a run._

_As she rounded on the corner a pair of strong arms wrapped around her waist, lifting her up to keep her from running. Knowing who it is, she wiggled and tried to release herself from him. Of course, it was no use._

"_Let me go Jace!" She cried._

"_No!" he said behind her back as he held his grip tighter. "I won't let go until you let me talk!"_

_She stopped her movements to make him release her and as he did, she slapped him hard on the arm, causing him to stumble back and cry in annoyance. He shook his wavy blonde hair out of his face. _

"_What's the matter with you!?" she said and slapped him in the arm again. "Why did you have to embarrass him like that?"_

_He raised his arms to protect himself from her slaps. "He's hitting on you, Clary!"_

"_So what? He's not doing anything bad Jace!"_

"_He's hitting on you!" He repeated, emphasizing his words. "Stop slapping me!"_

_She stopped, but not before pushing him backwards. "Why are you always doing this? Why are you always interrupting on my love life? When Simon asked me out-"_

_He snorted out loud, cutting her off. "The nerd would have ruined his chances by his own anyway."_

_Clary hit him again. "Or Jordan-"_

"_He's just making Maia jealous and you know it." He smirked._

"_-And now, Raphael!"_

"_He's just another popular jock that doesn't take girls seriously!"_

_She laughed out loud, without any humour. "And you're not?"_

_He let down his arms instantly, grinning lazily. "I'm not a jock, baby doll."_

"_No," she repeated, crossing her arms. "You're just a popular boy at school who girls always drool for and take it to your advantage."_

_He raised his arms in defence. "It's not my fault they chase after me."_

_She didn't let the comment distract her. "But you love yourself more, ever since I have known you that fact always stuck by you. And I have known you too long. So tell me Jace Wayland," she uncrossed her arms and poked him in the chest. "Why do you bother on ruining my love life!?"_

_He moved backwards at the strength of her attack, but kept on laughing. "I love it when you get all worked up."_

_She screamed in frustration. "Stop being cocky!"_

_He continued to laugh, causing her to hit him again and again._

"_Why-" she hit him in the arm, "are-" in the neck, "you-" in the stomach, "ruining-" in the chest, "everything!"_

_He chuckled, letting his body move backwards. "I'll show you why."_

_Then, he held both of her hands, put them on her back and kissed her hard. She was too shocked to comprehend anything, let alone respond. It didn't falter him though; he let one of her hands go as he moved his free hand on the back of her neck to move her closer to him. This time, her heart skipped a beat. She'd never felt more alive. His lips were so soft, yet so demanding. Like he was craving for more. She had a lot of questions on her mind but if she didn't kiss him back, she knew she would regret it. So she did it, giving out her own intensity. He groaned in response and kissed her harder. The butterflies in her stomach were getting too much, so she had to stop. _

_She pushed him away, feeling the cold surround her again. Her ragged breaths were overcoming his. "Why—why did you do that?"_

"_I just told you I would show you." He said softly. His stare moved back and forth on her eyes and lips._

"_Show me what?" Her mind was mixed with too many thoughts._

"_My reason." He smiled. "Everyone sees it but you, Clary."_

_She just stood, comprehending his implications. He chuckled._

"_For such a smart girl, you sure are slow."_

_That snapped her out of her thoughts. She was ready to bite his head off when he pulled her against him and kissed her again. He pulled back before she could even respond and looked her in the eyes, his grin never leaving his face. "Be my girlfriend? I've been planning to ask you for months now."_

_She couldn't say a proper word. "J-J-Jace..."_

_His grin turned into a small smile as he reached for his pocket slowly and produced a charm bracelet. "I told you I was planning. It's been in my pocket for a month and a half."_

_She reached for the bracelet and examined it. It's got a small photo pendant that has her picture in it. Others were stars and diamonds, and there were letters. Words. _

"_Baby Doll?" she asked, reading out loud. _

"_So that you'll know it's really for you." He said. "I've called you that ever since we were in diapers." He held the bracelet, pushing it to her. "I'll never hurt you and you know it, Clary."_

_She stood in silence, just looking at the bracelet. After a moment's silence and anxiety, she looked up at him and smiled. She took the bracelet._

Even after all these years she could still remember that day correctly. Oh, she should just stop fooling herself. She remembered every important memory they had very vividly no matter how hard she tried to keep it all inside.

She looked back at the window as she remembered their first date. Everyone had just found out about them. Some couldn't believe it while the rest knew it was just a matter of time. He took her to a bar in the up skirts of Idris where no one they knew hung out. He made a fake ID for the both of them and they ordered beer, sitting at the most secluded area of the bar. They'd cuddled, kissed and talked, and the feelings she never knew existed was released like a stampede. He kept telling her he'd been wanting and imagining all of it with her ever since he turned into a teenager. He kept denying it when she asked him if he'd taken other girls at that bar before. He said the only place he would take them is in Pandemonium, where he would always hope she would see him and be jealous. She just laughed and kissed him, leaving her lipstick on his face. He never bothered to wipe it off.

She sighed again, her breath wavering a little this time. She missed him too much. His leather jackets, muscle shirts and boots that were too matured for a teenage guy to wear. He never changed his style, even in college. His Impala taking her on those wild rides where her hair would fly with the wind along with his blonde wavy locks and their laughter. That half-smirk, half- smile that would make her swoon and forget about their argument.

"_Dance with me." He whispered in her ear. _

_She turned around and before she could respond, he pulled her along with him in the middle of the dance floor. The force of his pull sent her flying towards him in which he caught her by the waist and pulled her closer. She immediately put her hands on the back of his neck and smiled at him. He smirked back at her and held her thigh with his other hand. She bit her lip._

_They were in their usual bar, where no one really bothered to acknowledge them. The people were few, and not really the dancing type. The place was kind of dark, as usual. Jace had turned the jukebox on and played Shimmer by Fuel__**. **__Now, they looked inseparable. Just like every time they come there. _

"_Sorry, that was the latest I could find."_

"_It's sweet." She looked around and slightly giggled. "We don't act as if were in high school."_

"_When have we ever acted as if we're in high school?" he asked, nipping her ear. "Are you still worrying on how they will think when they see us?" he gestured the bar. "We didn't even look like we exist. We can make out right here right now and no one will bat an eyelash." He wriggled his eyebrows in suggestion._

_In the past, she might have slapped the back of his head and roll her eyes at his comment. Now, she just moved closer to him, if that's even possible. _

"_That's a really tempting offer, but not here Jace." _

_He smiled crookedly. "Your loss, Baby doll."_

"_I can kiss you," she reached up to her tiptoes and moved her lips in his ear, "here, though." She kissed the inside of his ear softly._

_She felt his groan before she heard it. She smiled and moved her lips in his jaw. "Or here." She kissed the part, "Or here." She moved lower and kissed the side of his neck._

_His breath was ragged and his eyes were closed as she pulled away. He blindingly searched for her face and kissed her hard on the lips before she could say something to him. She didn't mind, though. She loved setting out these kinds of reactions from him. She kissed him back, her hands clinging on his shoulders._

_They pulled away for air a while later, but not too far. Their foreheads were still touching. He caressed the side of her face._

"_I couldn't get enough of you." He said softly. "How is it possible to love someone this much?"_

_She stared at him, speechless. _

"_I didn't think I'd fall in love this early in my life. And I sure didn't see it coming that I would feel this way. This much. But I'm not really surprised that it's you, Clary."_

_She finally snapped out of it and half-smiled. "I'm in love with you too, Jace."_

_He looked at her with that same intensity that was only reserved for her. It made her feel breathless. "Really?"_

_She nodded._

_He chuckled breathily. "You don't know how long I've wanted to hear that from you. I love you so much, Clary."_

That was the first time they said those three words. She instantly chuckled at the thought. It was never just those three words; it was always more than that.

Their relationship was not a sweet, innocent one. Ever since the beginning it has always been intense and spontaneous. They rarely had those soft and sweet kisses; they always kiss passionately wherever they are. Even at school. It's like they couldn't help it, like their feelings were too much to take. They were always on the edge, only sometimes following the rules. Jace had always been kind of a rebel; with his smooth blonde waves contrasting his black shirt and torn-up jeans. He did well in school, though. He rarely skips class although he's always been silent. The smooth, smart-aleck comments and self-praise was always present, though. Without those, there would be no Jace Herondale.

Many girls couldn't believe that he would go for her, that he had always been going for her. Mainly because she was not that popular, and they would argue a lot in the hallways. Every time Jace would hear those comments, his infamous control and silence would defy him.

Though many girls found it hard to believe, no one doubted his love and devotion for her.

Even though they were always the touchy type, she lost her virginity to him a year after they got together. It was a week before they graduated high school. She would go to NYU while he was staying in Idris to help his father's business. They promised to do a long- distance relationship.

"_You're here with me, and yet I miss you already." He said softly. He had his right hand drawing circles on the flat of her stomach, inching up her sweater from time to time. His other hand was underneath her head, used as a pillow._

_They were lying side by side in the couch of his too-clean room. Her fingers were intertwined in the hand that was used as her pillow. Her shorts and high-heeled boots were adjacent to his jeans and leather shoes. The bed was near, but they preferred the closed space of the couch as an excuse to be nearer to each other._

"_I'm still here." She said and then smirked. "You're losing your touch, Herondale." _

_He sighed. "It's not a joke anymore, Clary."_

_She looked at him, worried. Jace does not get that serious. "Hey," she said soothingly. "We're a team, remember? We're not going to be over. I'm not going to let you go because I love you too much. Way too much."_

"_Yeah, I know." He said. "And I trust you. I'm just a little anxious." He kissed her forehead. "I love you more and more, Baby doll."_

_It was right then and there she decided. She would give him the one thing that would truly make her his. Because she is; always has and always will._

_She cupped his face and kissed him passionately. He sighed into the kiss and slipped his tongue inside her mouth. They both groaned at the contact. She pushed herself towards him and he held her on the waist tighter as their kiss grew more intense. She sat up, never letting go of his lips as he followed suit. She proceeded to straddle his waist as he sat up and grabbed her butt to pull her towards him. She moved her hips towards him to gain some friction. He groaned out loud and moved his hips. The desire was too thick that they both can't see straight. Jace moved his hands up to the inside of her sweater and pulled the fabric from her. She helped and saw him gulp, looking at her chest. He slowly touched the bra._

"_Lace," he said, voice thick._

_She just smiled and went back to kiss him, this time with more fervent. He responded, just as passionately. She tugged at his shirt and with that, he removed the clothing. They wasted no time, moving back to each other and groaning at the skin contact. They've gone this far before, and now Clary wanted it to be more. She began to slowly rub on his pants, in which he moaned. She could feel it harden. So, she tugged at the waistband of his pants._

_He stopped his ministrations and looked up at her. "Clary," he said softly._

"_I'm ready, Jace." She said, staring back at him. "I've never imagined any other guy to be the one and now's the perfect time. I'm ready."_

_He smiled and took both of her hands to pull her down. "I know you shouldn't probably believe what a guy says in the sack, but I love you, Clary."_

_He kissed her then, with renewed passion as he pushed her down the couch so that he was on top. He pulled down his jeans and shoes while she helped. When he was only in his boxers, he began to work on her shorts. She worked her way towards his neck and jaw, and lifted herself up so he can remove her shorts. He started to kiss her chest downwards when she began to remove her boots._

_He stopped and looked down at her. _

"_What?" she asked softly. He smirked and held her hands._

"_Leave it there. The boots."_

_She was about to ask why but he lowered down to kiss her stomach, moving downwards. She was moaning at the heat that she was feeling that she didn't realize he was also removing her bra from her back. When she felt it loosen up, she removed it from herself. He moved back on her top and stared at her chest. _

"_You're so beautiful, Clary. More so than I imagined."_

_She smiled at him and pulled him down for a kiss. They kissed for a while, when he pulled away. He bit his lip. _

"_Is there something wrong?" she asked._

_He just stared at her. "You should know that I've never done this before."_

"_You mean-"_

_He nodded. "I've done a lot of things, but not sex."_

_She blinked once, twice, thrice. "Oo-oh. I thought you—but you were with—I've always assumed—"_

_He shook his head. "No one bothered to ask so everyone just assumed, considering my reputation. I couldn't do it. I may be a jerk and an asshole, but I've always thought that I wanted to do it with someone I love. I've always believed in that."_

_She couldn't say anything._

_He chuckled. "And when I realized that I'm very much in love with you, I knew it was worth the wait. I've tried my hardest not to lose control. You've made me very happy, Clary."_

_She smiled widely at him as she kissed him passionately. He responded instantly, as he kissed his way down to her breasts, taking his time on each one. She groaned, clutching his blonde hair. He moved lower, kissing her stomach until he reached the hem of her underwear. After a moment's breath, he removed the garment, sliding it down to her legs as he kissed her throbbing core. She couldn't take it anymore and groaned out loud, spreading her boot-covered legs for him. _

"_Jace," she moaned his name. Those actions made Jace kiss her more intensely as she continued to moan and groan. It was so intense, that she had to clutch the couch for support and move up and down. He grabbed her breast as she felt her first orgasm. _

_She breathed in and out. "That was..."_

_He moved up at her and put a finger on her lips. "We're not done yet."_

_He kissed her again, and she can taste herself in his mouth. She removed his boxers and slid it down. When the fabric was removed, she stared at his manhood. _

"_Scared?" He smirked._

_She shook her head and looked at him. "I trust you."_

_The smirk was replaced with a genuine smile, but his eyes immediately closed when she began to touch him. That made her put a pressure on her touch. He moaned. _

"_Clary," he breathed._

_She slowly pumped it up and down as it grew even bigger, if that was possible. Jace was moaning her name and 'Oh god', when she began to pump faster. After at least a couple of seconds he stopped her. He then proceeded to move directly above her, their parts touching and throbbing._

"_Ready?" he asked with a thick voice._

_She nodded, and tried her hardest not to scream when he plunged inside her. He buried his head in her hair as he whispered soothing words in her ear._

"_Shh." He whispered. "The pain will be over soon, baby. Stay with me."_

_No one was moving for a while, when he asked her if it was ok. She nodded after a moment and he moved slowly up and down. The pain was indescribable, but it began to fade away as he continued to move inside her and was replaced by a big waterfall of desire. She started moaning and he pumped faster. _

_After that, their movements became harder and faster as the groaning started rising up from the both of them. She wrapped her boot-covered legs around his waist as he gripped her butt, kissing her breasts all throughout. She can feel her heat rising up again as he pumped even harder._

"_I'm coming, Clary." He whispered._

_She nodded. "Me too."_

_With a last pump, he removed himself out of her and spilled on her stomach. They were both breathing heavily when he got up and came back with a tissue to clean his mess. He moved back next to her afterwards and cuddled._

"_Definitely worth the wait." Was all he said._

After that, they felt their relationship grew stronger, more serious. She knew she made the right decision and chose the right person. When she moved to New York, it was hard and she felt so homesick all the time, but she was happy that she was a step closer to her dream of being an artist. She attended NYU to study Fine Arts and they talked all the time. There were arguments, of course, but it never grew more than a day. He would visit once a month and they would spend all day at her apartment making love, rather than going out to explore the city together. It was okay, she was happy and contented in a way, considering their circumstances.

She smiled as she remembered her birthday six years ago. It was her sophomore year in NYU and she was also working part time at a bake shop to help fund her studies. The pressure and schedule was crazy, but she was able to manage. She didn't have a lot of friends so she had more time for herself on the remaining free hours.

_It was almost midnight, her shift just ended and she was unbelievably tired. She couldn't wait to go home and flop in her bed, clothes and make-up be damned. Her ride back to her apartment was a blur but she made it. As she opened her door, her mind became fully awake._

_There he stood in all his glory, with his blonde hair still in short waves and his leather jacket matching the torn-up pants and plain white shirt. Jace Herondale was in the middle of her apartment holding a bunch of orchids and his charming grin in place. She hadn't seen him in two months because of their busy schedule. _

"_Happy birthday, baby doll." He said. _

_She couldn't believe the transition she felt. From tired out of her mind, she suddenly became more awake than she felt since the last time he was here. She smiled tearfully as she dropped all her belongings and ran towards him, wrapping her legs around his waist as he caught her. They stayed like that for a pretty long while. _

"'_I've missed you, Jace." She said in his ear. "You have no idea how much."_

_He kissed her cheek. "I've missed you too, Clary. I felt like I'm in a freaking coma those two months. But I knew I need to be here on your birthday. I couldn't miss this."_

_They sat on the dining chair after that, with her on his lap. She was fondling the orchid while he was fondling her. _

"_These look familiar." She commented._

_He smirked, caressing the side of her arm. "I got them from the greenhouse."_

_She instantly looked at him. "From the rooftop of the church?" _

_He nodded. _

"_All the way from Idris?"_

_He touched her cheek. "They're your favourite."_

_She looked at him in adoration. They spent most of their time in the greenhouse, mainly because it was serene and no one would ever think that they would hang out there._

"_This means a lot. Thank you, Jace." She said and kissed him. He kissed back with more force, removed the orchid from her hands and set it down on the table. He gripped her thighs and sighed at the kiss as she moved her hands on his chest. Their control was gone as soon as he moved to kiss her throat. Two months is way too long._

_They made love on that chair, and he moved them to the bed where they laid down, not quite sleeping yet. _

"_I wish you were always here." She said softly, her feet caressing his._

_He chuckled. "I knew you couldn't resist not seeing my perfection every day."_

_She smacked him on the stomach. _

"_Ow!" he cried, but he was chuckling. She joined in after a while. _

"_I'm gonna miss that again." He said, facing her._

"_What?" _

"_Your laugh. I haven't heard it in a while and it kinda brings back happy memories."_

_She smiled. "I'm really glad you're here, Jace. I need the energy boost."_

"_So, I'm just an energy booster for you, huh?"_

_She smacked him again. "You know what I mean."_

_He shrugged. "In a way, you're right. My perfection can give anyone a very big energy boost any time of the day. You want another try?" He wriggled his eyebrows._

_She slapped his forehead. "Pig."_

"_Your pig." He pressed himself tighter around her._

_She snuggled in his chest. "My pig-headed Jace."_

Those were the days when they were still strong and she was so sure that nothing can break them apart. It was after a year when things started to turn around. It started as a small argument, when they were talking about their plans after she graduates. Clary thought that when Jace finally becomes stable financially, he will move to New York and look for a job there while she starts her career. She has grown to love the city, and was sure that her success as an artist will happen there. Apparently, Jace had another plan on his own.

"_I'm not leaving Idris."_

_She stared at him. She could feel her heart beat faster. "Jace... What abou-"_

_He shook his head as he leaned on the table. "I'm not leaving my dad's business. I thought you'd move back after you finished. That was your plan, right?"_

"_No," she whispered, more to herself than as a response. She can feel it. The space that will break them eventually. Here's the conflict that she was praying not to come. _

After that, not one of them gave up on their own plans. Small fights often occurred every time the topic was brought up. As the time passed, those small fights led to big ones, which led to walking out on one another. Jace sometimes didn't bother on visiting her anymore, and would only come once in three months. She would sometimes go back to Idris and visit him, but would normally end in another fight about their distance and future. He was getting tired of it, and she was determined for him to live with her there.

To make matters worse, salt was added to the open wound. Sebastian Verlac. While the issue was still the main problem of their relationship, he came in and took an interest in her. He was in one of her classes, and applied as a waiter in her work. He was such a gentleman, and became good friends with her, but he was no Jace. Unfortunately, it was too late when she realized that he was feeling more than friendship towards her.

_It was a Saturday, and her some of her few friends planned on having a night out as a celebration on surviving their finals week. She agreed, realizing that she needed the stress release. They arrived at the bar and settled in on one of the couches. They were talking about random stuff and drinking from time to time when one of her friends, Kaelie, pointed behind her._

"_Sebastian's here." She said._

_They all looked, and Sebastian waved at her. She smiled at him in greeting, and went back to her drink._

"_Clary," Kaelie said. "He's totally into you."_

_She almost spilled her drink. "What are you on about? He's not!"_

"_It's so obvious! He's always there when you're around and I bet he applied at the Restaurant because you're there. Those are hardly coincidences."_

_She looked at her incredulously. "Stop giving it another meaning, Kaelie!"_

"_I'm not!" Kaelie turned to their other friend. "Aline, Sebastian likes her, right?"_

_The other girl nodded. "Totally. You can see him doing his googly eyes on her."_

_Clary raised her hands in exasperation. "He's my friend!"_

"_Friends develop feelings, darling." Aline said. "And that particular friend is hot. So go for it!"_

"_I have a boyfriend!"_

_They both looked at her in clarity. "Oh, right. That blonde hotness of yours was unbelievably a notch higher compared to one Sebastian Verlac. You do pick them fine, I must admit. Now I can see why you remain to be loyal for how many years." Kaelie said._

_Clary rolled her eyes. "I'm loyal because I love him."_

"_It doesn't hurt to live a little." Aline interjected. "We're still young. If you're meant to be you're really meant to be." She nodded at the brunette boy. "He likes you, Clary. Are you really gonna pass up that kind of opportunity?"_

After that, she can see it more clearly that yes, Sebastian does like her. He seemed to be always there when she's around and he always offered to spend time with her. She'd told Jace about him; but that was before she realized his feelings. She didn't know if she would tell him about it. In the end she told him, but left the part that he likes her. Jace saw through it, though. He told her that her little friend had a crush on her. She disagreed though, believing that she was nothing special to be crushed on.

Her doubts vanished when Jace came to visit her. It was a week-long vacation and they agreed they would hang around the city after a few days. Their argument about the future was somewhat pushed down temporarily and she couldn't believe how much she missed him. After she picked him up in the airport, he wasted no time and immediately hailed a cab, kissing her all the way to her apartment. They didn't leave the place for the whole weekend.

On the third day, they walked around the central park. She requested a leave at the restaurant so she wouldn't have to come to work on that day. They were enjoying the place, laughing and being all sweet to each other. She missed these moments where everything looks all too simple. No arguments, no issues and no problems. Apparently, he missed her just as much, since he hadn't brought it up ever since he came.

_They were walking around the park, with Jace's arm wrapped around her waist and talking sweet nonsense in her ear. She was chuckling at something he said when she heard her name on the other side of the area. Both of them snapped their heads and turned at the source of the sound. _

"_Sebastian," Clary nodded in greeting. "What are you doing here this early?"_

_Sebastian Verlac smiled at her. "Jogging. Hey, don't forget our change of shift in the restaurant. Hodge kept reminding me about it, saying we need to be early because the others are gonna be a bit late."_

_She clicked her tongue. "Oh! Right. Thanks for reminding me about that." She smiled and was about to wave him goodbye when she felt the hand on her waist tighten a little. She completely forgot to introduce Jace. _

"_How rude of me! Sorry I haven't done this earlier. Jace, " she looked at him, "This is Sebastian, my co-worker in the restaurant, and schoolmate." She looked at Sebastian. "This is my boyfriend Jace."_

_Jace extended a hand out to Sebastian. "Nice meeting you, man."_

_Sebastian shook it with a tight grip and a smile that looked more of a smirk. "Same goes for me."_

_They parted ways after that, with Sebastian going on the other side. Jace kept his eyes on the fading figure of Sebastian as Clary looked on curiously._

After that little incident, Jace couldn't seem to leave it be. Even when he got home, he would still ask Clary about him, until she got mad with all the questions. All he would ever say is that he doesn't trust the guy and he's getting a bad feeling about him.

To add to that, their current future issue still remains unfixed. It went from bad to worse. Those nights when all they wanted to do was talk to each other ended up in argument. Jace wouldn't give up his dad's business and seemed to believe that after she graduates, she'll move back to Idris so they can get married and start a family. He wastoo determined to follow the footsteps of every traditional family in Idris that settles down at an early age. But Clary wanted other things. They're both still young and she wanted to experience other things first before starting a family. She still wants it all with Jace, but she also wants to try out new things with him, too, while they're still young. She wanted to learn so much more, to go out there in the world and enjoy life. Why couldn't he see that?

Every time he comes to the city, or she to Idris, all they would do is argue more. Clary could understand his jealousy, but this is getting too much. She hasn't done anything wrong and he knows it. He just wanted to be mad at her because of her decision to go against him.

_It was a rainy Friday night when everything went downhill. Clary was in the cafe, just finishing up her hour with Sebastian. With the graduation coming up, she was too busy to change her shift so that she wouldn't be with Sebastian. She had started avoiding him ever since she and Jace had a big argument about it. That, and he was also creeping her out with him suddenly appearing out of nowhere. It was obvious the guy couldn't take a hint, and Clary was too kind to reject him, not when he hasn't said anything about it. _

_Clary was in the counter, fixing her stuff when she heard his voice._

"_So," Sebastian started, standing next to her. "I haven't seen you in a while."_

_She smiled politely at him. There was no reason to be cold, he was kind to her after all. "I've been busy with the graduation coming up."_

_He nodded. "I saw you a couple of times at the bar just across the street from the school, I tried going over to you but you just seem to disappear."_

_She didn't say anything._

"_Look, Clary, if you're avoiding me-"_

"_No, I'm not avoiding you."_

_He smiled. "Are you sure? There's nothing holding you back?"_

_She could have said that there was a very big thing holding her back and he should just leave her alone. But she didn't. He's really a nice guy and he hasn't done anything bad to her._

"_Yes."_

_His smile widened. "So I can finally ask you out? I've been meaning to ask you for months now, Clary."_

_She blinked. She wasn't expecting that._

_He must have taken her silence as a pleasant surprise. "I tried to keep my distance from you, but now that you and your boyfriend seem to be over, maybe I can have a chance." He held her hand. "What do you say?"_

_Her mouth was open in shock. She didn't realize he was so straightforward, like he was expecting for her to swoon on him and say yes with all her heart. Suddenly, the need to be away from him was urgent. But the silence was too long and again, he seemed to take that as an invitation. So he pulled her forward and kissed her then and there. _

_Clary was too shocked for a moment, not responding. The mere touch felt wrong. And before she could react, she felt herself being pushed backwards and away from him. _

_It was Hodge. "Public displays of affection aren't allowed while working, you two! Do you want a disciplinary action?"_

_She felt her cheeks heat up. This embarrassment wrong in the worst ways. She didn't even realize what was going on until Hodge stepped between them. Part of her wanted to tell Hodge it was all Sebastian's fault but she knew that wouldn't be of any help. _

"_Sorry, Hodge. We seemed too caught up in the moment. You know how it is with teenagers and hormones, right?"_

_She looked at him, disgusted with what she just heard. She was about to say something when she heard a voice that made her heart drop._

"_Clary?"_

_Her hands shook as she heard it from Hodge's back. No, this couldn't be happening._

_But it was. Jace stood in front of the counter, his face silently shocked and jaw set. She forgot that he was coming over in the city this morning. _

"_Jace, I-"_

"_Is that real?" His voice was surprisingly low and quiet. "What I just saw, is that real?"_

"_No!"_

"_So you didn't kiss?" His tone was sceptical._

"_Yes, but it's not what it looks like! Just-" She sighed. "Please let me explain. You know I won't do this to you."_

_He was clenching his jaw and she can see that his hands were formed to fists. She didn't realize that Hodge left and that Sebastian was still there._

"_Whatever, Clary." He mumbled and walked out of the cafe._

_Clary moved to go after him, but Sebastian's arm stopped her. "Don't. He'll go away if you don't follow him."_

_Disbelief coursed through her veins. "What the fuck is wrong with you? Let me go!"_

_The curse must have surprised him because he let her go. She ran after Jace. She forgot about the rain so she slipped a few times. Finally, she was in front of him._

"_Sebastian kissed me!" she cried out. "You were right, he's not a good guy and I should have listened to you. I didn't know he would do such a thing!"_

_He just shook his head. "You just couldn't wait to get away from me, can you? You have to do it in front of my face. You know I'd come pick you up after the airport."_

"_That's not true, Jace! I don't like him and I love you! I'm sorry!" she was breathing heavily. "I forgot you were coming, and I was about to go home. I'm so sorry, Jace."_

_He scoffed. "And as if this wasn't hurtful enough, you forgot I was coming! Am I really far off that priority list of yours that the moment you stepped in this city, all traces of me were gone by the window? You know what? Just forget about it, Clary. Just go home and dry yourself."_

_But before she could say anything, Jace spoke up. "You better get back there before I destroy your jaw, you son of a bitch."_

_She looked at him, confused. Until she saw that he was looking in front of her and she turned around. Sebastian._

"_It's only a matter of time. I'm just making it easy for you."_

_Jace lunged after him but Clary stopped him. It was hard to stop him when all she wants to do was to be the one who punches the jerk in the face._

"_Sebastian, I swear you leave us alone or I wouldn't be held responsible for my actions."_

"_Like kissing me? You most certainly looked like you enjoyed it, darling."_

_And Clary slapped him in the face. "Fuck off, Verlac. And never ever go near me again."_

"_Do what she says," Jace spoke up in a low voice. "Before I hunt you down like an animal that you are."_

_Sebastian sneered. "It's only a matter of time for you two and you know it."_

After that, Jace insisted for Clary to go back to the apartment while he continues to stroll. Realizing he's probably doing it for his sense of judgment, she begrudgingly agreed. And after what seemed like hours and hours of waiting, he finally came back and they talked about what happened. Jace was still mad about Sebastian although he knew the kiss wasn't meant, he wouldn't leave it be. But they left it like that because both were too tired to argue.

The next day, after a series of bad moods, the argument was back again. This time it was more intense than the usual. Jace wasn't being fair about the Sebastian situation and Clary was getting tired of it. And like any of their arguments, their issue regarding the future was brought back.

The fight lasted more than a day without them backing off, until Clary couldn't take it anymore.

"_I'm tired, Jace." She whispered, tears streaking from her eyes. "I don't think we can make it work."_

_He looked at her with hurt in his eyes. It was the first time she ever saw him reveal any vulnerable emotion and it hurts her to know she's the cause of it. But she couldn't take it anymore. They're growing apart and they need some time away. They both knew that, but neither has the courage to admit it. She knew she has to be the one in the end._

"_Clary-"_

"_You know it." She interjected. "Our answers were too different, and this is not just some quiz that we need to answer. This is a life-changing decision. I couldn't side with you. Not right now."_

_It was quiet, and she knew the truth was hitting on him like a ton of bricks that was just kept out of bay for a while._

_He scoffed bitterly, tears falling down. "So, that's it then? Just like that?"_

_She bit her lip. This was by far the worst feeling she ever felt in all her life. Giving up Jace wasn't supposed to be an option or even something to think about. But if she was honest with herself, she's been fighting this off, avoiding this for a while now. She loves him, but she knew they're not going to work unless they do what they have to do. She closed her eyes. "Yes."_

_There was silence, and she heard Jace sat down._

"_I love you more than you could ever think of." She said quietly, the heat of the anger gone now. That's what she was scared of. The heated arguments are the ones she could face, because that's how they work. But the silent ones, they're the most dangerous. She knew what she was going to say, and if she failed to say this right, she's going to lose him forever. "But we both need space right now. We're still young and it just sucks that we don't have the same plans. We need to do this for ourselves, Jace."_

"_I need to do this with you, Clary." His voice was shaking. "I'm sorry I wasn't good enough-"_

"_Don't say that!" She exclaimed and went to him, embracing him fiercely. He held onto her just as tight. "You're always worth it. It's not about that!" She levelled her face with his. "We need this."_

"_You're walking out on me, Clary." He whispered. "I'm not sure if we can go back."_

_She closed her eyes and let the tears fall down. She knew the risks, but it still hurt a hundred times more when it was Jace that said it. Still, she was determined to say what she needed to say. "I'll come back for you. I'll always come back. I'll accept it if there was no room for me anymore, but just so you know Jace," she stroked his cheek. "I'll come back for you."_

"Are you alright?" the man next to her asked.

She looked at him and was kind of surprised at how much glitter he has around his body. "I'm fine, thank you."

He just smiled. "Don't worry; we have less than an hour until we land on Idris."

She nodded, and tried to be polite. After all, she can't consume herself on thinking too much of Jace until she gets there. "Are you visiting or coming home?"

"Visiting," he said. "How about you?"

"Coming home."

"I see." He said. "Do you come home often?"

She shook her head. "It's been four years since I went back."

"Oh." He replied quietly. "So you haven't seen your family in four years?"

"No, nothing like that." She said. "They're in North Carolina now; I'm just going back for someone else."

He nodded, smiling at her. "Boyfriend, huh? Same for me."

She knew it. Those glitters were too much. "Really? So he's not from the city?"

"Oh he is. I'm just meeting his family." He said. "How bout you? Are you staying for good?"

She was silent for a few moments, unsure how to answer. He must have sensed it because he tried to backpedal but she answered. "I'm not yet sure, depends on him."

"I'm sorry I didn't mean to pry. That sounds like a serious issue."

She shook her head. "No, it's ok really. I haven't talked to anyone about any of this and it feels good to say something."

He chuckled. "Yes. To some stranger you met at the airplane. That's more than fine by me. I love controversial stories, not that I'll spread this around. That's not my style." He said. "I'm Magnus Bane." He extended his hand.

"Clary Fray." She shook his hand and smiled.

"So what's your story, Clary Fray?"

And she told him.

"You haven't spoken in four years?" He asked softly, after she finished her tale.

She nodded. "Not even a text."

"You're just gonna march there and lay everything on the line, not knowing whatever he has in his life right now?" Magnus asked her, a little incredulous. "Or did you have some spies to stalk him? I mean, that's pretty tricky, charging without an armor."

She shrugged. In all honesty, she pretty much preferred it if her heart gets stomped. At least she'll have it in her thick head how stupid she is for letting him go and wallow her own misery. No doubts or second thoughts, just misery.

"So... Nothing at all?"

"Nothing at all."

Magnus then looked at her in a moment of speechlessness. "That's brave, and stupid of you."

She just smiled. "At least there are only two choices in the matter."

He looked at her in contemplation. "So you haven't had any guys for four years? What happened to that other guy?"

"I never liked him like that." She said. "I know no one's to blame on what happened, but I really hated him."

Magnus laughed. "Well, who wouldn't? He's sort of unlikeable, based on your story."

"That, he definitely is." She laughed with him.

After a moment of silence, Magnus spoke up. "Are you nervous?"

She just sighed. "More nervous than I care to admit, even to myself."

"This has got to be the longest three hours in your life, huh?"

She chuckled half-heartedly. Honestly, even if she met someone else between those four years, she was sure she'd still come back for Jace. She's gonna keep her promise no matter what, even if he wouldn't honour it anymore.

The plane landed and both Clary and Magnus walked together to get their baggages.

"Where do you stay in New York?" Clary asked.

"Manhattan. You?"

She grinned. "Same. I went to NYU, though."

"I went to Yale, but I've lived in Manhattan all my life. That's how I met my boyfriend."

"My best friend's brother went to Yale after we graduated, but I haven't kept in touch with him in a while." she said, remembering how close Alec and Jace are.

"That's too bad. But maybe you should, since you're coming back here and all." He said, as he picked up his luggage. "And if god forbid, your plans don't go that well, we can grab lunch every once in a while in the city."

She picked hers and chuckled as they went outside. Magus seemed to be looking for someone, while she was about to hail a cab. She was thinking about where she should go, when she saw him smile broadly. She looked ahead and saw a black-haired guy go over at them, wearing an identical smile.

"Alec?" she whispered to herself.

The black-haired guy hugged Magnus. "How was your trip?"

"Eventful. I made a friend." He gestured for her, who was standing behind him. "This is-"

"Clary?" Alec asked unbelievably. "Clary is that you?"

She grinned. "I knew it. I knew it was you, Alec." Then she hugged him. He hugged her back tightly.

"It's been quite a while, huh?"

She just smiled and nodded. Magnus, who seemed to be confused at the moment, spoke up.

"You knew each other?"

Alec and Clary looked at one another and laughed. Alec spoke first. "She was Izzy's best friend and a close friend of mine."

As Magnus nodded in understanding, Clary realized something.

"You're Magnus' boyfriend?"

Alec laughed. "Right. I guess Izzy forgot to mention it to you. Yeah, I'm gay now."

She was still in shock but managed to hide it a little. "Yeah, Izzy definitely forgot to mention it to me." She said. "Though we haven't talked that much lately."

"Yeah, she's busy with her small clothing shop and she told me you're kind of a workaholic back there."

"She got that right." She chuckled.

With Alec and Magnus' insistence, she rode with them on the way to the Lightwoods. Alec was insisting that she should visit Izzy first before she went by her other plans, knowing the black-haired beauty would be hurt if Clary didn't went to see her. Alec was looking at her in contemplation and she knew why.

They were driving on the freeway when he spoke up.

"Jocelyn and Luke's in North Carolina. Did you come here to visit Izzy? Or someone else?"

She knew what he was talking about and decided to be honest as possible without giving anything away. She just wanted to talk to Jace first. "Yeah, I'm visiting him."

Alec's mouth was in a straight line as he nodded. "I see. You're not gonna stomp on him, are you?"

"Of course not!" She exclaimed. "I'm coming back, like I promised."

Clary knew Alec was aware of what happened between them. After all, he was Jace's best friend. For that she was grateful he wasn't screaming at her for leaving Jace, and being kind to her about it. She knew Alec can be protective of him. She guesses he's matured enough not to pry too much.

"For the record Clary, I knew where you were coming from, that's why I'm not mad at you. Just, be careful. "

She wanted to ask what he meant by that, but kept it to herself. She promised she would talk to Jace about everything first.

"You know her guy?" Magnus interrupted, looking at Alec from the passenger seat.

He chuckled. "Of course I know her guy. He's my best friend."

There goes the no-naming policy. Clary thought. Though, it's kind of hard to do that now since Magnus is Alec's boyfriend.

She heard Magnus suck in a breath. "Jace? She's Jace's ex-girlfriend?"

Although that was true, it still stung when he labelled it. She turned to Magnus when she realized he mentioned his name. "You know Jace?"

He nodded. "Of course I would know my boyfriend's best friend! They went to visit me in the city-" Alec tried to interrupt him but Magnus continued, though realizing Alec's attempts he slowed down. "—four times."

She blinked. So Jace still went to New York in the past four years. Hadn't he thought of seeing her? She tried to shake her head but the idea kept pushing in her mind. Maybe he's over her. Maybe she's the only one who was still hanging on.

She noticed the two men looked at each other with volumes. As Magnus gestured for a zipped mouth, Alec looked at her from the rear-view mirror. "Sorry you didn't know, Clary. We just thought we weren't in the position on informing you about it."

"I understand." She said quietly, swallowing the lump on her throat. "Really, Alec." She added when the black-haired man didn't look convinced. "Whatever it is, we still need closure."

The ride back after that was in silence. She was continuously looking at the window, as if in a daze. She was jerked back in reality when the car pulled over and she recognized the white house with a red door. They're at the Lightwoods.

She stepped out of the car and started to bring her luggages with her when Alec stopped her and motioned for the door. "Go. I'll take care of this."

"Thanks, Alec." She hugged him, not only for the luggages but also for the understanding. She knew he knew that and hugged her in return.

"Everything's gonna be okay." He said softly and let go of her, grinning. "Go before my boyfriend sees you." He joked.

"I heard that!" Magnus said from the other side.

She laughed and walked to the front door. As she opened it, she felt home. This was the house that tolerated her teenage self and welcomed her like she was part of their family.

"Izzy?" She called out. She looked around and noted that not much has changed, just a couple of new furnitures and displays. All is the same as it was used to be.

"You have to make it louder." Alec said from behind, clutching Magnus' hand. "Do you not know Izzy at all?" He chuckled. "IZZY!"

Though she thought of it earlier, she kept noticing the change in Alec. He seemed... Happier. The Alec she knew from before was serious and glum. He would not smile at all. This Alec seemed too natural to smile. She had to thank Magnus for this.

"What!?" The familiar voice of Isabelle Lightwood echoed throughout the house. Hearing it without the noise of the phone made Clary want to run upstairs and hug her tightly.

"You have a visitor!"

Clary chuckled at Alec. "Same old, same old."

A noise and a series of incoherent words were heard from upstairs as it gets nearer. Then the long silky black hair of Isabelle Lightwood was instantly followed by her long slender body as it descended down the stairs. "I have a visitor? I thought you're fetching Magnus from the airpo..."

Her words faded as she saw Clary at the foot of the stairs. Her face instantly lit up as she lunged for her. "CLARY!"

Clary's breath was cut short by the intense hug Isabelle gave her. She heard Alec laugh from behind. After a few moments, they let go of each other.

"You have no idea how much I wanted to go to New York just to see you! I'm so tired of the phone conversations we had! It's good to finally see you again!" Isabelle exclaimed.

Clary tearfully laughed. She really missed her best friend. "I missed you so much too, Izzy. I guess were both too busy to see each other. How are you?"

As they headed for the veranda to talk and catch up, Alec and Magnus left them with smiles.

"I knew this was going to be a good visit." Magnus said. "So many things going on! So many drama! I can't wait to see the rest."

"Stop being so melodramatic, Mag." Alec said, but with a hint of smile in his voice. "We'll see you later, girls."

Isabelle hugged Magnus in both greeting and goodbye as they all parted ways. The girls talked and talked about their careers as they progressed from there. As Isabelle talked about her and Simon's upcoming wedding, she instantly sobered up as she asked Clary about hers.

"Are you here because of what I think you're really here for?" She asked.

Clary just nodded.

"Is it good news?"

"I hope so."

Isabelle smiled slightly. "I know we haven't talked about him since it happened. But I still care for you guys. I know you're gonna keep your promise no matter what, it's just a matter of time."

Clary bit her lip, unable to keep the doubts any longer. "Do you think-"

"I honestly don't know, Clary." She replied, knowing what she's going to ask. "I haven't really talked to him in a while and we never talked about your business. You know him."

Clary nodded.

"Though for the record, I've never seen him with another. And Alec told me he's not into them anymore after you." Isabelle added. "I'm not trying to get your hopes up because we both know that doesn't mean he's ready for you again."

"I know." Clary sighed. "I ruined it all."

Isabelle held her hand. "Don't say that, Clary. You didn't."

"Yes, I did." She said, convicted. "We had a good thing coming, we can fix it. But I chose other things than him."

"Those other things are you, Clary." Isabelle interjected. "You know he understood that. No one blames you."

And this is it. She thought. This is the moment she got all worked up for. She took a deep breath. "I need to go."

"Now?"

"Yes, now."

Isabelle smiled in understanding. "That's my girl." She stood up and handed her the keys. "Use my car. Go."

Clary took it and hugged her. "I love you, Izzy."

She hugged just as tightly. "Love you too." They let go and Clary walked straight outside.

"Come back when you can." Isabelle called out softly.

The ride from the Lightwoods was smooth and full of anxiety. She couldn't get it him out of her head, now more than ever. All those doubts and fears she kept pushing inside were coming out now that she was going to see him.

She decided to head straight at the Herondale household. She hadn't been there since thanksgiving three years ago. When she arrived, she saw a familiar lady lounging at the veranda.

"Imogen." She called out softly as she got out of the car.

The old woman squinted her eyes and stood up immediately. "Clary? Is that you?"

Both of them moved forward and as Imogen smiled warmly at her, Clary instantly relaxed and grinned. They hugged each other. She was the grandmother Clary never had. Even before she and Jace got together, Imogen treated her like she was her granddaughter. After all, she was the substitute mother for Jace, since his mother died in childbirth.

"It's been so long, Clary! You look good!" The lady said, touching her arm after the hug.

"Thanks, Imogen. You look healthy too. I see life has been treating you well."

"It has, in all its fairness." She said. "How are your mother and Lucien?"

Clary smiled. "Well. They're expecting a baby boy."

"That's good news." Imogen laughed and Clary nodded. "I assume you're not here to visit me, are you?"

She sobered up."I am, too. But I'm here to see him."

"I thought so." The lady said. "It's unfortunate that Jace is not here."

"Where is he?"

Imogen shrugged. "I'm not sure. He could be at the shop, or in Taki's. He's always everywhere. You know Jace."

Clary smiled at her, feeling bittersweet. After a few moments of catching up, she said goodbye and looked for Jace at the town. As she speeded up, she tried to think of the places he might be. She checked Taki's but he's not there at his usual spot.

She also tried his shop, and after she saw that he's not there either, she took a good look around and felt proud for him. The shop was not too much, but it looks great. She smiled in as she saw that it was too clean for a shop. Same old neat-freak Jace.

She moved on and tried to look for him down the street while thinking where he might possibly be. As she let her mind wander, she didn't notice a boy crossing.

"Watch out!" She cried in panic as she looked ahead. Reflexes kicked in and she pushed the brakes. Fortunately, as she stepped out to inspect the damage, the boy was unscathed. She breathed a sigh of relief as she crouched to level his position.

"Are you alright?" She asked.

The boy nodded shyly.

"Where are your parents?"

The boy didn't say anything. He just pointed at the end of the road and as Clary followed the hand, she gasped inwardly. It was the church. She and Jace used to sneak inside to climb at the rooftop, to the greenhouse. She stood up, as if in a daze, never leaving her eyes on the view. How could she forget that church?

She broke off her reverie and looked at the boy again. "Are you sure you're fine?"

The boy nodded again.

She reached inside her pocket and pulled out a bill. "Here," she gave it to the boy. "Buy yourself an ice cream or something. And go back to your parents. Be a good boy, okay?"

He smiled and nodded, then headed into the other direction.

As the boy took off, Clary turned off the car and walked ahead. She climbed the steps of the church but didn't enter the main door. Instead, she proceeded to her left and opened a small gate that leads a staircase all the way to the top. She smiled a little as she took off her shoes, remembering how Jace told her they needed to be as quiet as possible. After all, no one is allowed to go at the top.

As she reached the last step, she collected her breath and pushed the door open. Sunlight flooded her vision, then as she got used to the light, she saw the flowers and plants the greenhouse still keeps.

She was still entranced by the greenhouse as she walked on. Oh, how she missed this place. Of all the places here in Idris, this is the one she felt most at home. A familiar colour caught her eye and as she turned, she saw the orchid Jace gave her on her birthday. She felt a familiar tug on her stomach when she touched the orchids.

She felt a presence somewhere near and before she could react, she heard an all-too-familiar voice that haunted her dreams for the past years.

"Even after all these years, you still pick on the same flower."

She closed her eyes at the sound. Now that this is happening, she didn't know how to react. It felt all too real that for a moment she wished she was back in her New York apartment, watching crappy romantic films and hiding from the rest of the world.

But she's not and she's here. So sucking in a breath, she turned around to face Jace Herondale.

Seeing him in all his glory, Clary suddenly fought the urge to run up to him and kiss him senseless. Nothing's changed about him. Still wearing the same plain white shirt, pants and masculinity that only Jace can carry, the only difference is the lack of arrogance and confidence in his features.

He was looking at her directly, not even a blink. She realized she hadn't said anything back.

"Jace."

With that, he seemed to want to say something but was trying to stop himself. She desperately wanted to walk up to him but she was afraid he might back away. So she stood there awkwardly, waiting for him to say something. She was surprised when he shook his head and laughed bitterly.

"You're not here to haunt me, are you? Maybe I drank too much coffee today."

She can see he was trying to remain cool, but the look he was giving her was too painful. It was like he's desperately wishing she wasn't there, at the same time wishing she were real.

"I'm real. I'm here."

Another silence enveloped them as he seemed to absorb what she said.

"I thought you're in New York." He finally said.

She bit her lip. "I came here to see you."

He raised his eyebrows. She knew he was attempting to be sarcastic but she noticed the frown before anything else.

"You wanted to see me? After all these years, you finally came down here just to see me? I must be so special."

She took a deep breath. "You have every right to be mad-"

"And what must you say that's so important, Clary?" She noticed him flinch when he said her name and she realized he must have never mentioned her name for the past two years, like she did with him. "Do you wanna say how successful you are and that you wanted to say goodbye? Or do you just want to see how I'm doing to make you feel good about yourself?"

"That's not what I'm here for!" She cut him off. "We left each other on a bad note, Jace, and-"

"And you're here to make a closure, like what you would really do. Because you don't want any enemies and you want to be the role model everybody wants you to-"

"Stop it!" she finally exclaimed. They both became quiet and the harsh breathing from her lungs was all that she could hear. She regained her composure just in time to see Jace regain his.

"I'm not trying to prove anything. It's been four years and... I'm here."

That's all that she could say without pouring all of her heart and soul to him.

He was looking at her directly, eyes never blinking. "What... What does that mean?" he breathed. "And don't make this hard than it already is."

She took a step closer slowly, watching if he's moving away.

He's not.

"I'm back for you." Clary finally said. "Those four years were the hardest, most dragging years of my life and you were the only one that kept me going. I know that was my decision and in a way, I didn't regret it because it made me stronger and wiser. But I won't have the strength in the first place if it wasn't for you."

She couldn't stop; everything coming from her mouth were the words she always thought at the back of her head. It was now or never. "I think of you every day, Jace. And every day, a big part of me always wanted to just leave everything behind and come home to you. The way you looked at me when we left, it couldn't leave my mind. I couldn't take it back and I know that but I wanted to make it right. I couldn't imagine myself without you for the rest of my days, I really literally couldn't. I still don't know why I had the guts to do it. We were a team and I need you more than anything else. Honestly," She didn't notice she was crying. "Those four years were a big blur for me. I was trying my hardest not to think about everything and my emotions were a wreck. I thought eventually that I would get used to it and I did, but the big empty feeling was alongside with it. I found myself counting the days when I would be able to come back to you, a-and if you're happy now I won't bother you I promise. I just want to tell you this so I have no regrets and maybe this will help me finally move on. If I'm not welcome anymore, I'll leave you alone."

Her lips were shaking and she knew she was a mess. "I still love you Jace. I love you so much, and I always will."

He didn't say anything and this time, the silence was unnerving. She'd never felt more nervous than ever. Rejection is something that she's grown to prepare for, but couldn't really accept when it comes to Jace. That's the hard truth. She was looking at the Black Orchid, crying silently. She knew she didn't make a single sound because after all these years, she learned not to utter a sound whilst crying. No, her bosses and colleagues wouldn't appreciate that, especially on those days that the impact of Jace hit her too much.

When the silence prolonged for more than she could bear, she wiped her face and looked at him. He was looking at her, a little dumbstruck but emotionless. This was far worse than any scenario she imagined in her head.

"Look, if you can't say it I'll spare you the speech. I don't need words to know I'm not welcome here anymore." She started to tear up again. "I guess this is goodbye."

She turned backwards and before she could even feel the pain of what just happened, Jace's hand held her arm tightly.

"Where the hell do you think you're going?"

She felt pressure on the hand that was holding her. "Hey, that hurt! Where do you think I'm going? Away from here!" All she wanted was to leave immediately and now she was getting angry.

"Seriously? You're leaving again?" Jace's voice was getting louder.

"You expect me to stay here after giving me silence?"

"And you expect me to answer right away when I wasn't even able to comprehend half the words you said every after five seconds?"

"How is it my fault that you're comprehension is slower than most human beings?"

"Oh, I'm very sorry Miss Know-It-All but it's not every day I get to hear the things I've wanted to hear the most for years! For someone so small, you seem to have such a large amount of air in your brain!"

"Says the most air-headed person in Idris! You're so selfish!"

He scoffed. "I'M so selfish! I love you!"

"You- Wait, what?" Her voice fainted in disbelief.

He was breathing heavily and he laughed in a choked manner. He pulled her close, and while Clary was limp in his arms with shock, she still felt that warm familiarity that she was hoping to feel again for years.

"You're not going anywhere, Clary Fray." He whispered. "Not without me."

And then he kissed her. The kind of kiss that only Jace Herondale can make, in the way he always did. Not slow and sweet, but rather intense and passionate. There was no exploring, no taking time. It was a kiss that bought them together. A kiss that felt like years to capture, years of holding back, and now was the time to explode. He lifted her up and she immediately encircled her legs onto his waist. She embraced him as tightly as she could. He kissed her with such intensity that she felt herself respond just as such. She couldn't believe this was happening; Jace still loves her.

And like all of their kisses, it ended in a slow and savouring manner, with the both of them still move back their lips from time to time until they faced each other. Jace set her down on the table and he moved his hand to her face, caressing her cheeks. He closed his eyes.

"I never thought I'd be able to do that again."

Clary brushed her thumbs to his eyelids. He opened his eyes. "I miss you so much." She said, memorizing his features.

He sighed, smiling. Then, he took her hand and kissed it. "I'm never letting you get out of my sight again. That was the worst decision I've ever made, Clary. Everyday felt to empty without you."

She couldn't help it. Tears formed in her eyes, still couldn't believe this was happening. After all these years, all the hard work and all the pain, she was finally here. With Jace.

She pressed her forehead with his as she saw him close his eyes and a tear fall down his face.

"I knew deep down, what you said was right. It was really hard at first, but I figured I wouldn't be good enough for you if I just lie here and bury myself with misery. After a year I was finally able to make it through, but not too much. You don't know how many times I attempted to knock on your door every time I was in the city. I wanted to see you, so bad." He inhaled her scent. "So bad, it hurts. Knowing I was minutes away from you yet I couldn't see you. I knew if you saw me there, my chances with you will be close to none. So I kept my distance. All those things I said, I wish I could take them back. I didn't mean to hurt you, Clary. I'm so sorry."

She wiped the tear from his cheek. "Don't be sorry. You don't have to prove yourself to me. I'm sorry if I ever made you feel that way."

"That wasn't your fault. You're here now, and that's what matters. This is the happy ending that most real tales don't have and I'm perfectly fine with where I am."

She smiled at him, the smile that she knew she hasn't done in years. The smile that was only reserved for him. "I love you, Jace."

He reflected her smile. "I love you more, baby doll." he kissed her. "Have you found what you were looking for? In the city?" He kissed her again.

She nodded, kissing him.

"And," Kiss. "Would it be okay if I take my turn," Another kiss. "On finding what I need to look for?"

"U-huh." She couldn't quite comprehend what he was saying, she was too enraptured by the feel of his kisses.

Then, she felt something cold slid into her finger. She pulled away and held the hand in front of her. She couldn't breathe.

"Not now," He whispered in her ear. "But marry me? Someday? I hope I'm not too late."

_Baby Doll, _the inscription inside the ring read. She choked up. This was too good to be true. "Were you carrying this around?"

"Since last year." He said quietly. "I never let go of you, Clary." He chuckled. "You know me, I always carry around stuff for you."

She chuckled tearfully and she kissed him as fiercely as possible. "Idiot! Of course I will!"

He laughed and kissed her back, pulling away to laugh more every other second.

"I told you I'd come back for you. Always."

**AN:**

**Thanks for everyone who read the story! I hope you liked it. This is my first TMI Fanfiction, please give me justice! This story is based from Lady GaGa's U&I. I've loved that song ever since I heard it and I was excited to write this one. **

**Please pardon my incorrect grammar and misspelled words. I would really appreciate it if you guys read and review! Thank you **


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